When the production team of Tzu Chi USA’s new documentary series “The Resettled” travelled to Idaho, they interviewed Fidel Nshombo, a refugee from the Congo. If you ever feel like complaining about your childhood, and especially how your parents were always telling you what to do, Fidel’s story will give you pause.
Every kid dreams about being on their own and thinking it will be great … you can have fun and break all the rules, but it’s the opposite of that.
All their advice made sense suddenly. I really lived every single bit of advice they gave me.
My resettlement in America was because I was in danger where I was, I never applied to come to America, but being sent here saved my life from those that wanted to kill me. While in a refugee camp, I saw a friend set himself on fire because life was tough, and he just gave up. I tried to help put the fire out but couldn’t until he passed. This was a path most refugees contemplate at some point in their struggle, but most are just too hopeful to do it.
The one thing that I would like the people to know is, as a refugee, the best thing that could have happened to me was to be sent back home and reunited with the rest of my family. Coming to America is the second best option and it has its challenges, mainly that I am now a world apart from my whole close and extended family. The thought of that makes my sweet life here sometimes uncertain. But I am an American and America is where I have lived longer than any other place on earth. So this is home for me now.
Being separated from my entire family, that's one thing you can never get over, I simply had to accept it.
Having lived the refugee experience for more than a decade, I have seen more challenges than an average person should in a lifetime, so don’t be surprised if I tell you that every obstacle I face in America I consider it just a test. My mindset is that, despite the length of the night, the morning will come.
As long as I can still breathe, I will not be resentful, or stressed, or hateful to anybody or even God for that matter. The way I look at it, I have just survived all these incidents, overcome them. It’s another wisdom added to my tablet of wisdom - a little box of memories. Don’t you have one?
Some people may call our adjustment process a challenge, the fact that most refugees have to learn a new language, new culture, how to drive, how to shop, about new laws and all the new ways of living in a new society, but for most refugees, that's something they look forward to, in order to integrate themselves in their new country.
It’s more of a humanly duty than anything else, where I came from when you see someone in need, it’s a humanly thing to help him up knowing that tomorrow someone else may help you in return. Also I know that every refugee that succeeds in this country contributes to the good reputation of all refugees and confirms the legitimacy of the resettlement process that some Americans have been induced to doubt. That’s why I help newly arrived refugees learn how to drive, teach them the dos and don’ts, and advocate for them when there is any misunderstanding with other parties.
From the perspective of Buddhism, Fidel can be qualified as a bodhisattva … there to guide others from suffering towards happiness and peace.
